{"id":542,"date":"2021-11-26T22:49:42","date_gmt":"2021-11-26T20:49:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/?p=542"},"modified":"2021-11-26T22:49:42","modified_gmt":"2021-11-26T20:49:42","slug":"but-even-so","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/but-even-so\/","title":{"rendered":"But Even So"},"content":{"rendered":"

It has been months since I\u2019ve written a blog, not from lack of things to write, but in the processing, I think of so many things I\u2019d like to share, but none of them seem just right.  My last blog was July, and it was vulnerable, more so than I\u2019m used to sharing, but it was honest.  And I think blogs should be honest, the good the bad and the everything in between.<\/p>

As we are entering the Holiday season, my FAVORITE season of the year, I was reflecting on how thankful<\/strong> I am to be where we are as a family right now.\u00a0 I don\u2019t only mean our physical location, but our life season.\u00a0 We have had some very precious seasons, some that have such rich memories attached to them.\u00a0 And we have had some TOUGH seasons, but even so<\/strong><\/em>, in all seasons, \u201cJesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.\u201d\u00a0 Hebrews 13:8<\/p>

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Right now, we are in a busy season in life, I think in general life with littles is always busy.\u00a0 I\u2019m a homeschooling mom, a missionary wife who works part time out of the home, I\u2019m in language classes, and honestly, sometimes I feel weary at best.\u00a0 Blake travels around 40% of most every month, and some weeks feel longer than others without him home, but even so<\/strong><\/em>, I cherish the season we are in.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n

My littlest is 3!\u00a0 She can talk, understand and carry on a conversation with the rest of us.\u00a0 Diapers are only being used at night and the baby phase is well behind us.\u00a0 My oldest is 7, and she is daring and fun, she is well liked at the market, she can write my shopping lists, and she can read to her siblings when I\u2019m not available.\u00a0 My middle is timid, but loyal.\u00a0 He will protect anyone that is wronged, and he will make sure everyone is happy.\u00a0 A mom can\u2019t wish for better group of kiddos, and they are all old enough to focus on crafts, or coloring or most importantly for my game loving self, we can all enjoy playing games together.<\/p><\/div><\/div>

But even so<\/strong><\/em><\/em>, too often I find myself wishing away this season, and dreaming about the next.\u00a0 When the kids are just \u201ca little older\u201d, things will be a bit easier. \u00a0I find myself asking why?\u00a0 Why am I wishing away a season that is so dear to me?\u00a0 And I realized it\u2019s because I\u2019m tired.\u00a0 Not just physical, I\u2019m not sleeping enough tired, but deep inside tired.<\/p>

Back in 1999, Drs Lois and Larry Dodds were studying the levels of stress on the mission field, using a modified version of the Holmes-Rahe Scale.  This is one way health professionals measure stress in people\u2019s lives.  The idea is that a certain number of life events can build up the level of stress until it gets dangerous.  Some of these might be the death of a family member, a child leaving home, trouble with the boss, change in social activities, a vacation, or marriage.<\/p>

In Holmes and Rahe\u2019s original study, they found that if you reached a level of 200 on the scale in a year, the cumulative stress would have consequences for some time to come.<\/strong>  The Dodds wanted to find out what the typical missionary went through.  The typical missionary had not just peaked levels above 300 \u2013 they had sustained<\/em> levels over 300 \u2013 \u2013 \u2013 year after year.<\/p>

The typical missionary, in fact, had double<\/em> that level \u2013 600<\/em> on the scale<\/strong>!<\/p>

The mom on the foreign mission field is stretched thin. She must take care of her household, figuring out how to do all the stuff she used to know how to do. She must learn the local language and culture, educate her children, communicate with senders, support her husband, and build relationships through her calm spirit and mild demeanor.  The missionary mom is judged by how well her kids behave, how well her kids\u2019 transition, how well her kids are educated, how healthy her marriage is, how well she knows the local language, and how well the ministry is going.  And she doesn\u2019t have her \u201cnormal\u201d support system giving her reprieve.  No wonder I feel tired and weary at best, much of the time. <\/p>

But even so<\/strong><\/em>, I find such joy in our work, and such joy in homeschooling, and such joy in shopping at the market and learning the language.\u00a0 I find joy in English club, and meeting with teens.\u00a0 I find joy in my expatriate friendships, and in the walks before school.\u00a0 In the afternoon downpours, and moto taxis.\u00a0<\/p>

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But even so<\/em>,<\/strong> I\u2019m called to be here.\u00a0 We<\/strong> are called to be here.\u00a0 So how do missionaries feel supported?\u00a0 How do I feel supported?<\/strong><\/p>

  • Pray for them: <\/strong>Pray that we find friendships on the field, (coworkers, other expatriate relationships, national believers, and even unbelievers).\u00a0 Pray for opportunities to rest.\u00a0 And for wisdom to know when we NEED to rest.<\/li>
  • Encourage them:\u00a0 <\/strong>Letters, calls, messages, they go along way knowing that my friends are still thinking of me.\u00a0 Financial support (not just normal support \u2013 did you have a little extra money this month?), tell us \u201cI\u2019m sending this money so you and your spouse can have dinner together without kids\u201d, or \u201cI\u2019m sending this money specifically to be used so you and your kids can go swimming this week.\u201d<\/li>
  • Show grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Missionaries need to be accountable to their supporters but give them grace when they haven\u2019t sent an update letter for a few months.\u00a0 Or don\u2019t be shocked if you see them taking a week off now and then.<\/li>
  • Ask the tough questions:<\/strong>\u00a0 But be prepared for the tough answers.\u00a0 Are you taking care of your mental health?\u00a0 How are you feeling right now in your relationship with your husband?\u00a0 With your kids?\u00a0 Are you spending time in the Word?\u00a0 Sometimes I need someone to remind me that Philippians 4:13 says \u201cI can do all things through him who gives me strength.\u201d \u00a0<\/li>
  • Let them have tough days:<\/strong>\u00a0 We all have them, but too often missionaries feel like they must hide them.\u00a0 We are afraid to look like we are failing, or aren\u2019t cut out for the everyday stresses\u2019, life and cultural differences may throw our way.<\/li><\/ul>

    \u201cCome to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light\u201d (Matthew 11:28\u201330).<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    It has been months since I\u2019ve written a blog, not from lack of things to write, but in the processing, I think of so many things I\u2019d like to share, but none of them seem just right.  My last blog was July, and it was vulnerable, more so than I\u2019m used to sharing, but it was honest.  And I think…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,15,21,1,5,19,16,17,22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-expat","category-giseyni","category-home-school-mom","category-uncategorized","category-missionary","category-missionary-kid","category-mom-life","category-rwanda","category-https-wwconnections-org-wp"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=542"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":553,"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542\/revisions\/553"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.berry1.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}